I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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