everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
