Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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