Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think people are normalizing furries
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize