i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize