dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
