You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
