Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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