I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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