I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
They took my balls.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
