I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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