Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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