It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
