my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
