where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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