He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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