What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
