He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
