after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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