Plan B is the new Plan A
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
