I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
