so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
