She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
