Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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