people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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