Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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