i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I am mentally ready for anal.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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