She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
