I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
