I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
