Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
