Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
