Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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