so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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