spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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