they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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