the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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