what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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