If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
