Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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