there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize