I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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