Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
