NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
