she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
