I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
a search helicopter?!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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