Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize