I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
