I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
