I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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