Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
