I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
