I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
