): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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