dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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