It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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