just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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