Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
