Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
