Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
